veepham

1:10 PM - Alright this weekend has been extremely busy and suprisingly I actually lost some weight - which kind’ve made me freak out a little. Anyways Saturday was a suprise baby shower, I was running back and forth buying things for my friend. Sunday/yesterday was her REAL baby shower, the one where it’s just all girls and with friends and cousins/aunts and such. It was extremely fun, there were so many people and the food looked amazing! I’d post pictures but I’m a little lazy to upload them To many appetizers but I did eat a lot and I’m suprised I lost weight - but it was probably because I was snacking so much while the other days I didn’t have much time to eat. So now I went down to 121.0 .. which is only 1 lb away from my mini goal - after all this time I actually know what to do to keep everything down.

I’ve finally officially broke up with my boyfriend/ex bf. It was pretty much mutual and I feel a lot better. I miss him and all but that’s just the sense of loss and everyone goes through that. I’m glad it didn’t end badly and hopefully we would be able to be friends later on the future. I guess if it was memorable and great while it lasted, I should just continue to reminisce the great things about our relationship. Anyways, since then I continued to get the weight off instead of keeping it on. So close to the mini goal!!!!! Then my second mini goal will be 115.

1:08 AM - Even though it’s technically the 17th I still think I should just write it as day 161. Anyways, woke up this morning and weighed 121.4 lbs. That’s the lowest I’ve been in SUCH a long time and I believe I might even go down some more. I’m so close to my mini goal of 120.. Then my newest mini goal will be for 115. I feel awesome.

12:06 PM - 122.4 lbs. Awesome, only had 7.5 hours cause I was talking late on the phone. Just trying to walk more and eat a bit more, I feel like I’m not eating enough. And it’s probably making me more tired, but I’m just not as hungry or when I’m hungry I’m busy and the hunger pangs just go away. Mmm hungry right now but feeling so super sleepy, I don’t even want to go outside - though it looks super nice. I guess I will though of course.

1:21 PM - 122.8 lbs. No boyfriend no weight gain. It seems like it that I’m a little more intuned with my weight loss now and I’m just not as hungry anymore, I love this feeling of control in my life. Plus I’ve been exercising some more to keep all this going : ) Yup yup, I really need to lower my body fat.

10:26 PM - I haven’t been on here much since there’s a lot of things I’m trying to deal with this month. Especially now that I’m exercising again and definitely eating better. I’m doing quite well in school and I’m happy about that! Today I believe was the first time I was the lightest after so long, standing at 122.6 which is pretty awesome. I’m just enjoying how much lighter I feel, and a little more confident, but I still don’t fancy wearing tight clothes cause you can see my muffin top… anyways, I’m having some boyfriend problems again, nothing big. But I’m on a temporary ‘break’ with him I guess, to take some me time.. I’m not sure what I want right  now, and I think I might want to break up with him. I love him but I’m not in love anymore and it’s hard because I don’t want to drag this along and I don’t want to hurt his feelings either. I want us to be friends and stay friends and maybe in the future we can be together again, but for now I really just want to focus on school and myself..

1:09 PM - I’m not sure why I’m not consistent with this whole regime, I see myself not really paying attention to food anymore, and it kind’ve makes me sad. But it’s like I don’t really notice it until later on in the night, when I’m laying in bed feeling extremely heavy. So now I’ll try and go back to eating healthier again and not eating so late - going out with friends is so crucial to why I’ve gained - I’ll just eat better and seriously got to stop being so lazy. It’s such a nice day with a tennis court in front of my house and a park, I should go out! I will go out later in the day if it doesn’t rain, or just go on that treadmill, no more being lazy, enough is enough. I have to say though, this long weekend was great and everything was good - except that I spent majority of my money which totally sucks but that’s what happens when you continue to go outside so much, SO I shall stay inside now since this week will be busy with school………….. again.

Seriously need to get a letter of resignation soon, or write one - that’s what I really meant - and find a new job.. Well find a new job before I write it and give it since I really can’t work here no more, everything is good but I just want to find a better job with higher pay and try retail - never been there before. Plus I’ve decided to go work in the summer with my mom (she owns a nail salon) and it’d be a great experience to learn more about aesthetics and knowing I already know much and have practiced before, it should be a easy transition.

2:03 PM - Wow yesterday totally wasn’t what I expected.. So I didn’t get a chance to go to the gym (though I had my friend’s gym membership) because my friend wasn’t in the mood since she was having some problems and just felt horrible.. which means I didn’t know how to get there and with no directions I couldn’t really go. Plus my sister stole the car from me and left me stranded at my own house.. Oh I didn’t even get the chance to watch How to Train Your Dragon!!!!!! AH RAGE :@ … it’s horrible. I did get to catch newest episode of Supernatural.. Which was pretty awesome, not the best ep but very interesting one. Okay besides the point, afterwards my friends and I went to eat (this was like 10PM WHICH I FELT GUILTED but it’s hard to say no when you haven’t ate in awhile). So then I had my food, and they wanted to go drinking afterwards, we went to this bar and thankfully I drank very slow and it had ice so I enjoyed it slowly.. it was some pineapple beer - tasted like a spritzer - but it was good. Had like 2 small cups of it since they came in pitchers. Afterwards, I strained my throat with karaoke.. yes I love singing, even if I don’t sound so great. Oh but what sucked worst was my friend who has the most loudest voice - and not so great singing - hogged the mic and over sang everyone. She will have one mic while there’s three of us sharing one and her voice will literally over power ours because she likes to hear herself sing….. ahhh, note to self, do not go singing with her again LOL

1:06 PM - What a rough night, full of tears and anger. But the better part is that he realized he still needed me and that whole ‘realization’ thing was a little stupid. I guess we just need to spend some time apart and that’s it. Not like totally away just doing more separate things and supporting each other when we needed too. What’s great is that, today is Thursday, the day I was waiting to hit the gym and ask them about their classes and do what I’ve been waiting for all week! What’s great is that we will also be going to watch How to Train Your Dragon!!! Ah, I really want to watch that movie. I sound like such a child but it’s had great reviews : ) It’s got a 97% rating.. 5 stars! What’s great is that the bf will also be exercising at home as well, they’re getting an elliptical so that means he will actually be losing that tummy. Now that I look at it, I don’t mind it, I just like to pat it hehe. But then again it’s better for his health to cut back on the junk food and such. Anyways time to wash up then head out to the gym at 4.

8:33 PM - This morning I woke up to a great sleep, then went back to sleep to have the worst nightmare ever - which I will not go into - and went back to sleep again because I was to exhausted from the nightmare that felt so real. The day was great, yet it ended horribly. I went to the library to get books to work on my final and while in the study room noticed so many ambulance and fire trucks zooming past on the main street. While going back home we realized a house got caught on fire and it was badly burnt, the only thing left was the main floor (partly) and the frame of the house. The worst part is that while I was sitting at my friends house, my sister texts me and confirms that it was one of my friend’s homes.. Were not sure what happened but that’s extremely horrible how an accident like that can happen. Thank goodness no one was hurt but majority of the house and everything inside was pretty much burnt to the ground. Besides from that I got in a huge fight with my bf - if I can still call him that. It was indeed a stupid fight because we were arguing about how on Monday he said he will bring me to go buy some bicycle shorts at the mall - but today he said he was to lazy and that it was to late since it was 8 and the mall closes at 9. Seriously, I wouldn’t take 1 full hour just to buy 1 pair of shorts.. Then we argued and I left the house and walked home. He followed with his car and I was just fuming and told him to go home and that I don’t ever wanna talk to him again. Not like anyone here really cares how my day was, just needed to vent about what a crappy way to end the day. Now I shall go shower and feel better, it always makes me feel great : )

Meh what totally sucks is that my day ended worst, now we are on a ‘break’ whatever that means. He wants to spend some time apart. I guess, what’s that saying people say? “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back, it was meant to be”. I’m sad but I will NEVER ever let someone take over my life. It sucks that things had to turn out the way it did, but we shall see what happens.

12:26 PM - Feeling super tired today, I’m not sure why.. Eek, maybe it’s because I haven’t exercised in like days LOL but I shall get my joints going because I will exercise later today when I get home : ) I don’t care if it’s noisy and the parentals will be annoyed. Mmm I will have to vacuum later, since I told my parents I will do it. Okay so my schedule today is breakfast, vacuum, print homework & resume, photocopy resumes, night school, exercise, sleep. Hope this plan works out because I’m getting seriously lazy or my body is just really tired and sluggish.. maybe it’s the junk food or sugar crashes